Posts by cognizant dissident

Only one so far, my son. But that's the most important one. After that, it's all gravy! I'm working on my husband now, but he is a tough nut to crack.

Cog

17

Calculate the number of days you gave to the watchtower....

by kid-A in

jw
friends

i spent 26 years in the borg, having been born in.

i conservatively estimated devoting a total of 8 hours/week in terms.

of preparing and attending meetings and threw in "assembly" and "convention" time to the equation.

I recently calculated that I spent at least 3 hours every day, if you count getting ready for meetings, driving, prestudying, reading mags for service etc. That's for a regular publisher. I think you can double it for pioneers. Anyway, by that point, I felt really sad and depressed at all the fun things I could have been doing that I missed out on. So, the past is over and done and not very fun. I'm looking to the future.

Cog

18

The Goof with the Troof (in the spirit of the Cat in the Hat)

by AlmostAtheist in

i read "cat in the hat" to zach tonight and became inspired.

you be the judge if it was "inpsired of demons", "inpsired of god", or just gas.

the sun did not shine.. it was a miserable day.. life seemed so empty.. just so cold and so gray.. .

cognizant dissident

This was so great! And funny. I am saving it to my favorites!

Cog

48

Anyone know about 'cutting'?

by love2Bworldly in

i am researching cutting and self-mutilation because i have a close family member who is doing this--she burned her arm last week and it's bad.

i was wondering--i found an article on the internet that talks about support for the person and how some people get relief by using other methods like icing the skin with ice cubs or flicking themselves with rubber bands.. this person is in therapy and in the care of a psyciatrist too but i just wondered how common this is.

her diagnosis isn't even for sure--could be adhd or depression.. any comments on experience with this would be helpful.

cognizant dissident

If anybody tries to use it against you, they should immediatly be sanctioned and rated.

You definitely have to be careful who you trust with this information. I have never told anyone about this aspect of my life except a couple of trusted therapists who were experts in sexual abuse counselling. My parents don't even know. I never did it for attention, just self-numbing. I wouldn't want to portray myself to the outside world as a damaged victim. I know a woman who proudly shows everyone her cutting scars. Everyone thinks she is a wacky, nutcase. This is info you should in most cases keep to yourself for your own self-protection. I only told my story anonymously on this forum because I am sensing how common this behaviour is, and if some young woman or girl knows she is not alone with this... well, that would have been very helpful for me when I was younger. I felt very isolated and alone. I didn't know other people did this and there was help out there.

For the one who said if it was a mimiced behavior, I started trying to throw my food up before I ever heard the word bulimia or anorexia.As a JW we are NEVER good enough. This causes us to hate ourselves and repress feelings because feelings are not allowed.

Yes, Kate, you have got to the heart of the matter. All self-destructive behaviours are just different manifestations of self-hate. Cutting is no better or worse than others, it just gets more attention for some reason. Interestingly, enough, it wasn't the physical and sexual abuse that triggered me to cut myself. It was all the JW conditioning (verbal abuse and criticism) from my parents that I would never be good enough to be a worthwhile person worthy of love and praise. I swear this is more insidious and destructive to a child's self-esteem than outright abuse because it is abuse disguised as helping you to be a better person. At least with outright physical abuse and sexual abuse you know who the enemy is.

I love the way Dr Phil helps those with some problems. He talks about that record that plays in our heads. The one that says, you are ugly, stupid, loser, etc, etc. Fix that record and reply it; I am beautiful, I am worthy of love, I am a child of God made in His image, life is beautiful.

This is exactly the type of thought stopping techniques my therapist taught me to pull me out of the spiral of self-hate and shame. The voices in your head calling you names are not your own. They are the voices of your abusers disguised as your own. You need to yell back at them just like you would if you saw an adult verbally abusing a child. Everytime you hear the abusers voice, you have to substitue a loving positive message for the hateful, hurtful one. I know this sounds absurdly simple, but it is very powerful and it works! Try it all you soon to be ex-cutters out there.

Cog

93

In ref. to child abuse

by jw in

.

ok all time to get real.

child abuse is not limited to jw's.. if you truly want to stop child abuse first start with the family , and be honest we all have a relative that is a pedophile.. then protect your family from stranger danger.. don't just isolate to jw's.. expand and truly stop the child abuse world wide.

cognizant dissident

jw:

You sound very confident in your knowledge that your children have never been molested. Never say never. Don't make the assumption that they would tell you if they were. I did not tell my parents I had been molested until I was almost 40 years old. My friend who was raped at 12 by a "brother" also never told until she was about 40. Another friend who was raped at 5 yrs old by the next door neighbour, never told her family about it. I suspect there are many who take their secrets to their graves. No one on this forum has ever implied that only JW's are molesters. You sound as if you have a lot of unresolved issues of your own that you need to work out before you start giving advice to others who have been molested.

Cog

48

Anyone know about 'cutting'?

by love2Bworldly in

i am researching cutting and self-mutilation because i have a close family member who is doing this--she burned her arm last week and it's bad.

i was wondering--i found an article on the internet that talks about support for the person and how some people get relief by using other methods like icing the skin with ice cubs or flicking themselves with rubber bands.. this person is in therapy and in the care of a psyciatrist too but i just wondered how common this is.

her diagnosis isn't even for sure--could be adhd or depression.. any comments on experience with this would be helpful.

cognizant dissident

When I was going through a bout of severe clinical depression, a psychologist asked me if I ever had a history of hurting myself. I told her that I used to starve myself and cut my self as a teen and a young adult. She then asked me if I had a history of sexual abuse. I asked her how she knew that. She told me that whenever they encounter someone with a history of self-mutilation there is almost always a history of sexual and or physical abuse. The two go hand and hand.

I also had a diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder. Children in abusive situations just don't have the coping mechanisms or safe environment to learn more constructive ways of dealing with extreme stress or trauma. Self-mutilation works because the physical pain triggers the brain to focus on the immediate threat and release pain numbing endorphins. This helps to numb out severe psychological pain as well. That's why people do it over and over again. Because it works. Similar to drugs and alcohol. Children don't always have access to mind-numbing chemicals. So they find a way to create their own. It's really an amazing survival mechanism. Thankfully, as adults we can learn more constructive ways to deal with severe stress. I just stopped on my own, shortly after my son was born. On some level, I knew my behaviour was not normal, and I just made a conscious decision to be the one to break the cycle of abuse in my family because I did not want my son to be raised in a crazy, chaotic environment like I was. With the help of a wise and wonderful counsellor, I was able to change my life around. Although, I did gain a lot of weight! I guess that could be considered self-destructive by some. Oh well, I'm still a work in progress. Baby steps! lol

62

I got DF'D yesterday

by IronClaw in

jw
friends

i got a call from my wife today.

she said they made the announcement at the hall yesterday that i got df'd.

they said that i am no longer a jehovah's witness.

cognizant dissident

Ironclaw!

How are you taking it? I know it was expected but still, any regrets? If you need support, we're here for you. How is your daughter taking it?

Cog

18

Annoucement about "Accidents and Emergencies" at Convention

by stillAwitness in

april 2006 km:

accidents and emergencies: emergency-response services have complained that they receive many cell-phone calls over minor matters.

if a medical emergency arises at the convention site, please contact a nearby attendant, who will immedietly notiy first aid so that our qualified personnel on site can assess the seriousness of the situation and render assistance.

cognizant dissident

At all the assemblies I've attended, there has been either a medical doctor, paramedics, or nurses in attendance. We got dozens of people asking for bandages for tiny drops of blood, aspirin for headaches, sanitary napkins for unexpected periods, removal of tiny splinters, etc.

So on this one, I'm for making the announcements that only true emergencies use the first aid or call 911. You have no idea how many people think their slightest discomfort is medical emergency.

Cog

54

So, why did I meet with the elders?

by lola28 in

jw
friends

this is my explanation as to why i met with the elders today.

when i agreed to meet with the elders last week i had made up my mind to just go in and be honest with them.

i was going to tell the elders that i no longer believed this to be the truth, and then i was just going to walk away.

cognizant dissident

Lola

You did what was kind for your friends and right for you. You don't owe anyone an explanation, not the elders or anyone on this forum.

Cog